


Waking Up to You

by MonochromaticMatt



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:40:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22702591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonochromaticMatt/pseuds/MonochromaticMatt
Summary: Kei had been having these nightmares for years. He wasn't a stranger to it, but it wasn't like it used to be, either.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 4
Kudos: 199





	Waking Up to You

Kei had been having these nightmares for years. Sometimes, in them, he was just a child again, playing with Yamaguchi. But Kei had never been good at making friends. The idea that someone might care about him, might like him for who he is, was terrifying. So he tried to push him away. And in his nightmares, he did. Sometimes, Yamaguchi would yell, or push, would tell him how much he hated him. And then, sometimes, he would just get this cold look in his eyes and walk away, like he wasn’t even worth the fight.

Other times, his nightmares were about his high school volleyball team. He stopped showing up to practices, and would avoid his teammates in the halls. But that wasn’t what would make him wake in the dead of night, chest aching. It was when he went back to the club, and no one had even noticed he was gone. They’d hardly even realized he’d quit - barely remembered who he even was. He didn’t matter.

It was in university that he started getting nightmares like tonight’s. In these ones, Kuroo would tell him that he wished they’d never met, that all Kei did was bring hurt to an otherwise perfect relationship. Bokuto would ask if he even knew how to love - surely he didn’t, not when he was so cold and distant. Akaashi just laughed in his face for honestly believing the three of them had ever loved him in the first place.

So, Kei wasn’t a stranger to waking up with tear-stained cheeks, or his chest heaving, body shaking. He wasn’t a stranger to it, but it wasn’t like it used to be, either. He no longer had these terrors nearly nightly. It had been, now, at least a few months since his last one.

The frequency, though, wasn’t what had changed for him the most. It was waking up.

The room was dark, illuminated only by the lights of the city beyond the window. White noise hummed gently, filling in the spaces. A blanket laid over his long legs, bunched up at his feet, warming him down to his toes.

A heavy arm draped across his chest, weighed down with muscle, but the rough skin of Koutarou’s palm tickled Kei where fingers brushed just under the sleeve of his t-shirt.

On his side, a nose and forehead pushed comfortably at his ribcage. Kei relaxed the grip he realized he had twisted up in Keiji’s nightshirt, rubbing gently at his back instead, feeling soothed by the soft hair atop Keiji’s head as Kei’s arm circled up and back down.

Down at his shin, Kei registered the feeling of wiggling toes. Cracking open an eye, he saw Tetsurou laying half way on top of Koutarou, a leg swung over his hips, the end of his foot dug under Kei’s blanket. Every minute or so, with a quiet murmur he’d knead at Kei’s leg, before quieting once more.

And Kei couldn’t help but smile. His heart was still beating a second too fast, and his face was still wetter than he would have liked, but he knew it was just a nightmare. Not a prophecy.

Things weren’t always perfect, but in these moments - curled up with people that love him, knowing that more people who loved him were just a phone call away - well, things felt about as close to perfect as one could get.

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently, I can only write anxiety-riddled Kei drabbles and nothing else. Oops.


End file.
